i am so done being guilted for working three jobs when in reality, the only way i could have enough gas to continuously drive the hour-and-a-half one way trip to you, are the jobs you’re bitching about. stop with the “i feel like you never have the time for me”, stop the “you’re always so tired” and stop the “you’re not doing enough. i’m doing more than i can handle, and it’s so i can afford necessities and see you. sorry my life is crazy. sorry i’m ambitious, sorry i can understand that i will never stop having responsibilities and i need to fulfill them. sorry i’m tired. sorry i’m awful.
this is the second time in two months i’ve had the flu. my immune system is on vacation. not a great time to get shit on, thanks.
i want my janel. i want my sam. i want sleep.
so on sunday, my last meal of the day was at 3. i actually ate a decent amount, so i was set. i went to my boyfriend’s school to see him.
i have invisalign - meaning, not only are my teeth getting straighter, but i have an excuse to not eat. when i put new ones in, i physically can’t eat because they’re painful. love it.
so around 10, we went and got pizza. my invisalign excuse worked perfectly.
so then we walked back to his room, derped around, and eventually went to bed. we woke up at 8, stayed up for a bit, then went back to sleep. i woke up at 10 in a daze, sweating and feeling really sick. i was dizzy and didn’t know what was going on. the next couple minutes were spend dry heaving into his trash can naked. it was lovely.
he got me breakfast. he said not to do that because it scares the shit out of him when i don’t eat. i kept bringing up the fact that i do, indeed, have retainers, and that’s the only thing preventing me from eating.
haven’t eaten yet today. thinking (hoping) it’ll be a water/fruit/yogurt only day.
109 on normal days, 108 on good days, 110 on bad days.
looking for around 105 or less by halloween. giving myself exactly two weeks; focusing more on toning than weight loss.
I love when my own images pop up on my dash :3
i missed you
i took double the amount of diet pills i should take in a day, and my stomach is going crazy
am i fucking pretty yet?